How to us a strap-on

If you’ve ever wondered what it could be like to have a penis and penetrate your partner sexually, a strap-on dildo could be just the ticket for you!

What is a strap-on?

Let’s begin by looking at what a strap-on is for those who may not be 100% sure.

A strap-on is usually either a harness or underwear style that is specially designed to accommodate a dildo to penetrate a sexual partner.

A strap-on dildo is a dildo specially designed to go into a harness which allows you to penetrate your partner or have your partner penetrate you. The penetration can be vaginal or anal depending on your mood or desire.

The strap-on harness for dildos

The strap-on harness, as the name suggests, is a harness that is worn and into which a dildo can be inserted. The harness has straps that are closed and allow for the dildo to become to some extent one with your body. Once you are ‘strapped in’ so to speak, you are ready to have some fun.

The advantage of the strap-on harness is that it’s easier to get a solid fit against your body and gives you more flexibility when you are thrusting and penetrating your partner.

The downside of the strap-on harness is that it can take a little longer to get set up which could take some of the sexual heat away.

However, don’t fret. Once you have practiced wearing a strap-on harness a few times you will be able to get going a lot quicker and feel more comfortable the more you wear it.

Strap-on underwear style

The other popular strap-on is underwear style which as the name suggests is like a piece of sexy underwear except that it has a hole, called an O ring that allows you to insert a sex toy like a dildo.

The advantage of the underwear-style strap-on is that it’s quicker and easier to put on and might give you more of a sensual feeling like wearing sexy underwear.

The possible downside of the underwear-style strap-on is that you may not get quite the same level of control with the dildo as you would if you wear a harness.

The best thing to do is try them both. They are different and will fit different moods. You and/or your partner may prefer one over the other. So go ahead, experiment and see what gets both of your juices flowing!

Okay, so now we know what a strap-on is. Let's move on to some tips on how to get the most from your strap-on harness or underwear.

Practice practice practice and get used to wearing your strap-on and dildo

This is probably one of the most important aspects of strap-on play. Before you use a strap-on with your partner, spend time with it on your own. Get used to putting it on in a way that’s smooth and sexy.

Nothing will break the sexual tension like you fumbling around with a harness while your partner nervously waits for you to get ready.

Instead, put your strap-on harness on sexily and with complete confidence. This will no doubt heighten the sexual pleasure for both of you.

Once you have mastered putting on your strap-on harness you should spend time wearing it.

Walk around your apartment or house with your strap-on harness and dildo attached to get used to the feeling of having a pseudo-penis attached to your body.

The more you get used to the strap-on, the better you will be and the more confident you will feel.

Masturbate with your strap-on dildo to get familiar with how it feels to be penetrated by it

Another tip is to masturbate with your strap-on dildo of choice and learn how it feels to penetrate your vagina and your anus also if you choose.

This will create a form of muscle memory that will help you remember the sensation from when you penetrated yourself as you are penetrating your partner.

You’ll have a better idea of the sensation of being penetrated by the dildo and so have a better idea of what your partner could be experiencing.

Make a night of choosing a strap-on with your partner

We all know that a lot of our sexual pleasure is connected to our minds and our moods. What can be great fun is to make a night of it.

Get yourself a pizza, get comfortable and look for strap-ons and dildos that excite the both of you.

Choose them together. You’ll both have the excitement of waiting for your strap-on and dildo sex toy to arrive.

Doing it this way makes it a joint venture and something you both participated in.

When the strap-on and dildo(s) arrive you are both super excited and can’t wait to penetrate and be penetrated.

Don’t forget the lube. Lube is your friend!

You’ve no doubt had this drilled into your mind so many times yet it’s so crucial that it’s always worth adding a little reminder.

The more lube you have the better, and to be sure we’re speaking the same language, we’re talking about lubrication.

The last thing you need when you’re hot and lusting is dryness and discomfort, ouch. So make sure you have plenty of lube on hand.

When choosing your lube do remember to make sure that it’s compatible with your dildo of choice. Silicone-based lubes could degrade silicone toys and oil-based lube could damage latex, for example, latex condoms. As a general rule of thumb, water-based lubes tend to be a good way to go

How to use a strap-on

Now that we have the basics out of the way let’s look at how you use a strap-on for maximum enjoyment and excitement.

First of all, no need to be nervous. It’s pretty intuitive as sex should be.

If you have followed the tips above you should already be practiced in putting your strap-on harness or strap-on underwear on and feel comfortable with a dildo attached to your body.

Feel free to play, this is so important, there is no right or wrong way.

It’s up to you and your partner to experiment and see what works. The three most common sexual positions you could try with your strap-on.

Missionary position, you on top, partner below

The first position you can try is classic missionary where your partner is lying on her back and you are on top penetrating her. In this style, your partner is mainly passive and you are doing the ‘work’ as it is. It has a nice dominant/dominated feeling.

Partner on top, you on your back below

Next, you can lay on your back with the dildo in the strap-on harness and your partner can climb on top and ride the dildo while you play with her breasts and caress her.

Your hands will be free to caress her! The beauty of this position is that your partner can move around and use the dildo in a way that stimulates her G-spot. With this style, you are more passive and she is doing the work. This can be the most intimate out of the three.

Doggy style, partner in front, you behind

This is a classic position and allows you a great view of her behind and there’s something quite exciting about penetrating your partner this way, whether in her vagina or anus.

These are of course just a few tips, there are plenty of styles, plenty of strap-ons and plenty of dildos to choose from. There’s no right or wrong, just what works for you and your partner!