Let’s get things clear right away: People masturbate. It’s normal and it’s healthy. In this article, we're talking specifically about mutual masturbation, an intimate, playful experience for you and a partner that can and should be integrated into your sex life immediately. In this article, we’ll not only answer the question, “what is mutual masturbation?” but we’ll provide some hot tips tailored to lesbian partners.
What is mutual masturbation?
Keeping the definition simple, mutual masturbation is when you and your partner pleasure yourselves while together. This could mean you watching while your partner masturbates, or vice versa: you masturbating while your partner watches. It could also mean stimulating or pleasuring one another, either at the same time, or taking turns. Mutual masturbation can be a fun part of your shared sex life, and it can be performed with or without sex toys. Does mutual masturbation include penetrative sex? It sure can, though it doesn’t have to. Whatever gets you and your partner off – and that may be different for each one of you.
When it comes to types of mutual masturbation, there are two basic scenarios in which this takes place.
Long distance sex
Mutual masturbation has been a longtime favorite of couples in long-distance relationships or situationships. Via phone or video connection, partners can watch one another pleasure themselves from afar. They can take turns, or touch themselves at the same time. It’s about shared pleasure in a shared sex life, even across distance.
In-person sex
If you and your partner are lying next to each other in bed, this can also be a great time to explore mutual masturbation. In this case, the two of you would either pleasure yourselves or each other. And you have the option of using your hands, other body parts, sex toys, or any combination thereof.
What is lesbian mutual masturbation?
Lesbian mutual masturbation is, you guessed it, mutual masturbation among lesbians. Since lesbian bodies tend to feature over 25 erogenous zones, lesbian mutual masturbation has almost infinite ways to combine pleasure and stimulation…even without penetrative sex.
Why is lesbian mutual masturbation worth trying? Here are a couple of things for you and your partner to consider in terms of the benefits of mutual masturbation (beyond the basics: physical pleasure).
Intimacy & Connection
Allowing yourself to be watched while in a vulnerable position (and vice versa) is a meaningful and pleasurable way to build intimacy and connection. The moments leading up to and after orgasm can really deepen intimacy and feelings of trust.
Communication & Exploration
Mutual masturbation can be a great exercise in communication (about what gives you pleasure) and a fun, playful way to explore physical pleasure, together, as part of your sex life. By expressing your needs and desires, and listening to a partner express their own, you’re on the way to improved communication and enhanced mutual exploration.
Tips for lesbian mutual masturbation
For lesbians looking to integrate lesbian mutual masturbation into their sex life, we’ve rounded up some of our simplest and spiciest tips. Some of it is as basic as dimming the lights…while others get into the nitty gritty of the mechanics of mutual masturbation.
Tip 1: Set the scene
You definitely want to create a comfortable, safe environment, and one that feels sexy to you and your partner. This can mean dimming the lights, putting on some music, lighting candles – whatever gets you both in the mood.
Tip 2: Communicate!
Actually, this is really the first step, and one to broach even before you get to it. Mutual masturbation is something to discuss. You want to make sure you’re both up for the experience as part of your shared sex life. Throughout your mutual masturbation playtime, you’ll want to be sure to communicate, too, about what you want, about how you feel.
Tip 3: Get touchy feely
This can be one at a time – i.e., you touching yourself while your partner watches, or vice versa – or touching each other or yourselves at the same time. Hands, other body parts, sex toys, it’s all fair game in lesbian mutual masturbation. Different combinations or patterns of touch can drum up the stimulation. This might involve touching genitalia or other erogenous zones.
Tip 4: Try different positions
There’s certainly no one right way to get into it. And for lesbian mutual masturbation there are so many options for positioning. You can be side-by-side, lying down, seated, whatever. Missionary, cowgirl, intertwined legs – you two decide. And you can switch courses in the midst of it all. Consider which body parts (if any) you want in close proximity, and if you want close, direct eye contact. Like with so many sex acts, there may be some trial and error involved. And different positions may work at different moments.
Tip 5: Use a sex toy
Have we saved the best tip for last? Maybe. If you’re looking for some tools beyond your own two hands, might we recommend strap-ons or double dildos? Either of these categories of sex toy would be a perfect addition, or stimulant for your lesbian mutual masturbation experience. A strap-on, the most popular lesbian sex toy, for example, can be used by one of you at a time to stimulate the other. A double dildo however, can provide simultaneous stimulation and mutual pleasure, with a range of vibration levels to tune into.
More mutual masturbation
So why do we advocate for lesbian mutual masturbation? The practice can be so much more than a means to an end in your sex life. It can bring pleasure and intimacy and fun…not to mention stress relief, in a way that expands our understanding of sex itself. If you’re not yet on the mutual masturbation bandwagon and feel curious about exploring, talk to your partner and express your curiosity. It’s very possible that they’ve been thinking about it, too. After all, we all want to feel good, right?
